My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
