Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
