ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
