Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
