So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
BRING THE BAGELS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
