It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
