i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
