why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
