i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
