If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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