no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
