a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
