i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize