my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
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I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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