wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
