he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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