I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Fuck me I smell like cheese
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
