Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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