The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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