he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
