and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
