I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
