i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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