There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
