If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
