The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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