The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
