I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize