do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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