Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
