I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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