Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
