My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It was like giving head to a cactus.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
