well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
