Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I need water and some morals
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
