Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few

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(765): View more from Indiana

That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(561): View more from Florida

well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.

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(915): View more from Texas

Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.

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(239): View more from Florida

I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.

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(702): View more from Nevada

He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.

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