I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
