it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
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