Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
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We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.