so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.