Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  Ew you even made it your fb status

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  Ppl probably think ur having a kid

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I hope

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Love having children with random chicks

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  (847): I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (1-847): Ew you even made it your fb status (1-847): Ppl probably think ur having a kid (847): I hope (847): Love having children with random chicks http://tfl.nu/8sqv
  Replies (3) Good night (1618) Bad night (1149)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'

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  (703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' http://tfl.nu/veyw
  Replies (55) Good night (1425) Bad night (10976)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.

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  (+61): yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status. http://tfl.nu/4c5v
  Replies (27) Good night (909) Bad night (3885)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan

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  (412): me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan http://tfl.nu/bxhp
  Replies (63) Good night (1196) Bad night (2510)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..

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  (904): watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too.. http://tfl.nu/rujn
  Replies (9) Good night (3478) Bad night (732)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets

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  (514): he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets http://tfl.nu/d9we
  Replies (9) Good night (830) Bad night (5377)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit

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  (315): I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit http://tfl.nu/ybzi
  Replies (7) Good night (3823) Bad night (2036)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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  (787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7
  Replies (4) Good night (3797) Bad night (1642)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...

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  (856): It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder... http://tfl.nu/phk2
  Replies (4) Good night (1431) Bad night (846)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?

  (563): View more from Iowa

  1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World

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  (641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight? (563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World http://tfl.nu/s9cv
  Replies (4) Good night (1923) Bad night (1355)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

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  (516): There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much? http://tfl.nu/0m7u
  Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (1324)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.

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  (248): You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open. http://tfl.nu/8umi
  Replies (7) Good night (1655) Bad night (713)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  They're like sad pomegranates.

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  (810): So I went tanning and I burned my boobs. (810): They're like sad pomegranates. http://tfl.nu/z57h
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (1210)
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  (562): View more from California

  Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.

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  (562): Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight. http://tfl.nu/c5kp
  Replies (4) Good night (860) Bad night (501)
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  (424): View more from California

  Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?

  (310): View more from California

  "Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."

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  (424): Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth? (310): "Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants." http://tfl.nu/ausk
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (205)

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