Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
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Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?