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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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• (805): View more from California

  WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts

  (805): View more from California

  YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS

  (1-805): View more from California

  budget cuts are serious business

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• (979): View more from Texas

  A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.

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• (818): View more from California

  I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough

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• (518): View more from New York

  Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.

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• (585): View more from New York

  That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?

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