It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate