so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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