Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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