We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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