the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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