I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
