and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
