His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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