How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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