glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
