As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
