Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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