He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
