i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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