I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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