I'm laying in your front yard are you home
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
