i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
