Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
