Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
