i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Your cock deserves a montage
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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