Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They have beer where we have blood.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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