Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
