I'm jealous of your bromance
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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