well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
