her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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