I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
