why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
