i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I did not marry a roomba.
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