The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
