I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My pussy is not your playground.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
